The Transformation

I was talking to my friend, Photobug, while looking at baby boy bedding online. I was still in the mourning phase of not having two little girls and was not having any luck picking out any bedding. Then lightening struck-I saw the inspiration bedding.

Now I had originally promised DH that I wouldn’t want or need to paint the nursery (the Green Room) because, well it was green and that could be used for either gender. That was until I saw this bedding. Well not exactly this bedding. There were elements about it that I didn’t like of course. Photobug mentioned that her Mom could possibly MAKE the bedding for me. She is actually in the process of doing that now and I can’t wait to see the finished product. She made Photobug’s bedding for her little boy and actually already had the pattern and everything. I was so thrilled when she agreed to take on this project. Next, I had to convince DH that we needed to paint the nursery. The light mint/sage green was definitely out of the question with the new color scheme already planted firmly in my mind. I showed him the bedding I found online and he really liked it as well but had the exact same reservations as I did. So after a little persuasion, coercion, and whining I was given the semi-I know you are going to do it anyway-go ahead to paint the nursery.
The first step, before I could paint anything, was to find the fabric for the bedding. I was so stressed out about this. Was I picking the right fabric, was I picking the right colors, was it close enough to the bedding originally picked out, yada yada yada. Now most of the time I just “take charge” of any project I am working on but not this one for some reason. Finally after putting it off forever and whining to DH, I said to myself…I am going to TAKE CHARGE of my project. Princess and I went out in search of our fabric the next morning. Much to my surprise we actually find it right off. I called it my “ah-ha” fabric. It is chocolate, red, and cream striped. Then we visited another store and found a khaki backing and chocolate linen fabric to go with it. After a few more days of searching we found a red accent and a cream fabric that is super soft. The quilt and bumper will be a patchwork of all these different fabrics and colors. Now, I was ready to pick out the paint. It was simple enough. I decided to keep the vertical stripes on the main wall instead of sanding them down. I went with a light khaki for the walls and one stripe and picked one shade darker for the other stripe. DH was great in painting the vaulted ceiling area and ledge area that I couldn’t (and wouldn’t!!) reach. We completed the touch ups this weekend and DH put the crib back together. Now the organization and decoration begins!!! Here are a few before and after pics that I have so far. I am in the process of painting the white shelves you see in a few pics to a dark chocolate brown and I am also painting his name letters a shade of red to hang above the crib. Also I purchased two 8x10 canvases for Princess to paint for her baby brother (she really wanted to help paint and I wasn’t about to let her loose on the walls!) There are a few more items I have in mind to purchase to complete the room and I can’t wait! I’ll be sure to post again-I’m really trying to keep up now!

Boy v. Girl

Here is something I wrote the day after I found out we were having a little boy.

Yesterday we went to find out the gender of our second child. And MUCH to my surprise…it’s a boy. I know most people would be thrilled with this fact, even thrilled to be having a child at all. I KNOW THAT. And I feel horrible for feeling this way—but I never wanted a boy. I never saw myself with a boy. I never saw my DH raising a boy. I never saw my DD with a brother…..I just never believed it would happen. It’s like 40% of me is thrilled and jumping up and down with joy at the thought of having a son-a mommy’s boy…..and the other 60% is devastated….devastated for what I feel I have lost. I, logically, know that it is just one dream replacing another dream…but I still am grieving that loss. I will never have “my girls”, never have my little princesses, DD will never have a sister to gossip with, dress up with, and have in each other’s weddings. She will never be able to have that sort of bond with a boy and for that I am sad. It’s hard to let go of the dreams you have for yourself and your family. It’s hard to deal with the fact that you ARE NOT in charge of everything. I’m not sure what the plan is for me or for this sweet little boy in my belly—but there definitely has to be one.
On the upside, I’m hoping that in the next few days as reality sinks in and I start to realize what I DO have to look forward too-I will start to feel better and more grateful….just not today. Today I am still grieving my “loss.”

I have been debating on whether to share that piece of myself with all of you. The people closest to me already knew this but those that aren’t will probably not understand a lot of my posts so I felt it was necessary to get this out there. Since that day, every time I look at those words I feel ashamed, embarrassed, and saddened. But that is how I felt AT THE TIME. My sister explained my feelings for me best: “When you first find out, you feel like you have been kicked in the stomach. Then you are really sad. Then you get over it and get excited. Then you are really embarrassed and feel stupid for ever feeling that way.” She was right. Absolutely right.
To be honest and fair though, I am still very sad about all the above things but I have moved on and I do realize what I have to look forward to. And what my DH and Princess are gaining as well. My DH especially. He and Princess have a wonderful relationship and I love watching them together, especially when he is dancing with her around the room in her princess costume calling him her Prince. But I can’t WAIT to see the relationship he will have with his son. It’s something I can’t even begin to imagine/begin to picture will be like. I can’t wait to watch this story unfold. We are all looking forward to our little boy’s arrival!!

A Royal Celebration

My darling little Princess turned three years old a month or so ago. I can’t believe this time three years ago she was a tiny newborn. (I can’t even write this post without crying.) She and I talked about what type of party she would like this year (the past two years have been outside/water parties) and of course she said “a Princess Party!” We had little sandwiches, fruit, desserts, and Pink Cupcakes with Purple Sprinkles! Everything was made by yours truly with the exception of the fruit (cut up by a local chicken fast food place) and the adorable Chocolate Buttons made by Photobug. Oh and the cream cheese mints made by her Nana (my request…I love cream cheese mints when I am pregnant apparently!) We had several little tables in the living room for the kidlets to eat their party food. Princess received so many wonderful presents and we were so thankful for everyone that was able to make it! My parents got her a Barbie Jeep for her birthday which she still hasn’t really gotten the hang of “driving.” She would rather sit in it playing with the radio and mirrors than drive it anywhere. Her God Parents got her a beautiful jewelry box (along with several other things) which she plays with all the time Photobug and Betrothed got pieces of her bedding for her new big girl bed and new room. My sister and nephews got Princess a Cinderella costume and all the extras (shoes, purse, etc). She received lots of other fun toys, outfits, and games that we have been putting to good use since then!
Hopefully a good time was had by all and my baby girl will remember her Princess Birthday Party for a long time to come (or at least have the pictures!!!)

WOW WOW WOW

Has it really been this long since I've posted, you ask? Why yes, yes it has.
I'm having a baby boy-MUCH to our surprise. It was hard to accept at first-most of you won't understand that-I'll try to explain later. But now we are all very excited about our little baby boy. I am going to be 27 weeks tomorrow and can't believe that the third trimester begins next week....but I still feel like I have forever to go....ALL.SUMMER.LONG. Hooray for swimming pools! Anyway, Princess has turned three years old and we had a Princess Birthday party for her...it was a ton of fun and really cute. I can't believe that this time three years ago my baby was only a month old....OMG, it has flown by! I am very excited about little man's arrival but want to hold on to this as long as possible as this will probably be our last baby...definitely! I can't wait for Christmas this year...it will be so fun with the two of them...I'm rambling and this post is jumping but I don't care...at least I am posting right? Okay, so what to write about that is semi-cohesive in nature? Hmm, sounds like I need to make a list....
1. Transformation of Girl Nursery to Boy Nursery
2. Details of Princess's Party
3. Add some belly pics-update on stats (not weight of course!)

That's what I have for now. Will try to be a good girl and post on these topics in detail but I want to rest for a bit while Princess and her Prince (that is what she calls her daddy now--SOO SWEET!) are downstairs playing....Later!

It's a Party in There

So I know this will sound crazy to some of you first time moms.....but you second time moms-tell me your experiences with this.............
At about 11 weeks I was having little "pops" is what we will call them. I didn't think much of it--gas, bloating, etc--everything is changing and weird at this point and I was throwing up pretty regularly too. Around the end of the 11th week, I noticed this same "pop" feeling about once or twice a day. It was distinctive...the best way I can describe it was like a cotton ball was floating around and would "pop" me every now and again. Very soft, very faint, and very brief...so brief I thought I was imagining it. Anyway, after noticing this repeated pop I started looking/waiting for it....it happened more and more frequently. I was thinking to myself...."No, way. I'm only 12ish weeks.....!" I was so unsure I didn't share this with ANYONE, not even DH. After a few more times and one very definitive pop I posted on my favorite message board at BBC to ask other mom's opinions and experiences. I had lots of women respond that the second time they were pregnant they felt "something" really early...as early as I was feeling it. I was still not convinced so I still didn't share with anyone but Photobug (as she is on that board as well.) During this time I signed up for a program with our insurance company that gives me free access to a nurse. I mentioned this whole scenario to her and she said it was definitely the little bean I was feeling!!! That was cool....and of course I watched for it even more. During the 13th week (this past week) I could definitely feel it for sure. I told DH and he was skeptical but believed it could be possible. I felt it more when I was sitting straight up in my desk chair at work when I had on pants with an under belly elastic band. (the larger, harder bands) It is the strangest feeling to describe. Almost like a brief wiggle, but not necessarily a wiggle in the since that you would first think of...ANYWAY.....I mentioned that I went to the doctor on Thursday. I told him of my "pops" and he said he wasn't going to tell that it wasn't....because he just wasn't sure. He did say that it was awful early, but it was possible. While he had the doppler on my belly, I could feel a little wiggling going on. There was one time where little bean actually popped the doppler so much that it made a loud noise that was picked up.....my doctor said, "it just moved...did you feel that?" I said, "uhhh, yeah. That was one of my little pops!" He was surprised but seemed happy that I could already feel it moving around. He said that it was great that I was so in touch with my body (yeah right) that I knew exactly what was going on in there. It was nice to hear that from the doc, especially just after getting in trouble for eating Corn Pops all the time!!! I don't know if I mentioned it or not before but the heart rate stayed around 165.....so maybe girl??

Yeah for the Weekend!

I seriously have not had such a wonderful weekend in a LONG time! First we went to Lawyer Dad's surprise birthday party on Friday night. (Thanks JESS for the invite!) It was a blast. He was definitely surprised and we got the chance to meet a lot of great people. Best of all our BFFs, K&T were there too. We loved catching up with them, of course, and couldn't wait until Saturday when we could see their little man, I-dorable! My MIL kept Princess Friday night and they had a great time together. They went to eat at Taco Bell (Princess's Choice..) and went to a few stores to look around and shop. Princess always comes home with some loot when the grandparent(s) are with her!! On Saturday we slept extremely late for us which was a nice change. Then we got ready and met K&T and I-dorable at a BBQ place. Then they came back to the house so I could get some baby lovin'!!!! He is so stinking adorable. I seriously could have just kept him (but I think his mommy would have objected)! Princess was all about him too, she just wanted to get him (in a good way). She was even "good" when I or DH was holding him. That surprised me, but it is good news I guess. I can't believe we haven't seen this little guy since Christmas time!!! Definitely won't wait that long again!
With all of our fun times, there also has to come my complaining (I would just get used to this part of my posts...instead of journaling everything about this pregnancy, I write it here....and there is a LOT of complaining.....) I've started taking the iron of course which I have been warned has "uncomfortable" side effects...yeah. I've also had a headache on the verge of a migraine since Thursday. Since the only thing I can really take it Tylenol--and really, what is the point in taking that--I've been pretty uncomfortable. I'm sure the weather we are having is contributing somewhat (I always get headaches when we have bad weather--barometric pressure or something). Anyway, back to the fun stuff.....if you can believe this...I GOT A FEW PICTURES TO SHARE.....after I get permission from K&T I will post a pic of I-dorable and Princess together. They were so cute together and he really does make me "consider" having a boy (like I have a choice in it :) ).

13 Week Update with no Pics Yet

Sooo, I warned you ahead of time. No pics yet. We had our 13 week appt (normally would have gone at 12 weeks but I was just there at 9 weeks) today and we got to hear little bean's heartbeat!! DH was able to go with me so that was great too! Another post will detail "movement." I know you are on the edge of your seats....(sarcasm)
I have been sick, coughing, snotting, etc for about a month. I have been doing all the "routine" things-vaporizer, extra fluids, mucinex, etc etc...NOTHING has helped and then pollen hit too. I have been so exhausted that I can hardly stay awake at work-literally. That coupled with the almost constant nausea and vomiting-well you can say that I haven't been a happy camper lately. The nurse took one look at me and said, "you feeling puney?" Then she sent me to have my iron checked...sure enough...anemic. Not a huge deal and it really does explain a lot. So in addition to my prenatal vitamin and calcium supplement, I am now taking an iron supplement, Z-Pack, and robitussion with codeine (haven't tried this one yet....we shall see if it works!) Oh and Nexium. I feel like a drug addict! DH ratted me out with the doctor. Because of my nausea I really don't feel like eating much of anything--and the things I do want/can keep down I eat A LOT of...for example Corn Pops and cold whole milk (With Abbie it was Capt.Crunch!) Well after my anemia was announced DH (under his breath) said something about "eating just Pops probably doesn't help either." Of course the Doc heard and made a NOTE! I'm not too angry-mainly embarrassed...but hey, if it's the only thing I can consistently keep down....What's the problem?
Okay, I am off work tomorrow so I will try and catch a few things up....here are some topics to remind me
1) Movement??
2) Bad Mommy
3) Upcoming Events

Later!!!

Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow!!!

Okay, seriously...is this crazy or what? It was almost 70 on Friday and then snowing today and all melted by this afternoon. I woke up at 4:30 AM to the pelting of ice/sleet/snow at our window. It was only a little bit but it was sticking. Several hours later the entire yard was covered. It was so awesome...as much as I love the beach, the little girl in me loves snow too. It snowed heavily for several hours. We bundled up after breakfast only to walk "barely" out of the door and Princess freaked out. I'm not sure if it was the wind blowing in her face or what...but she was not playing in that mess! So DH and I went out instead (Princess watched through the window) and threw snowballs at each other...it was great! After lunch and a movie, we bundled back up and went out front to play with our friends. They were building a snowman and we all started throwing snowballs at one another. Princess finally "warmed up" (oxymoron-ha) and was playing in the snow too. It wasn't long until we were freezing and we ran inside to warm up. I got to take a NAP which was wonderful-thank you DH! By the time I woke up, all the snow had melted. So, I went out and hit a few Walgreens' for some coupon shopping. Gotta get ready for diaper/pullup deal next week!!! I will go and get the camera later and add a few pics...stay tuned.

Our Winter Wonderland!!!

Oh wait, warming up a little bit...

Oh yes, this IS fun!

Daddy, make me a snowball!!

WATCH OUT MOMMY!!!!

As Promised

I told you I would update tonight!!! First of all...I need to send a huge shout out to T for making me laugh so hard I peed in my pants. Visit her blog at http://tabitha-thebestisyettobe.blogspot.com/ and you will understand. And NO I am not cool enough to make the pretty linky things. I avoid learning about technological things because I just depend on my DH for that!
Anyway, down to business. I got the all clear from the doc. I will continue on the progesterone for two more weeks just until the placenta takes over. I did get another ultrasound today!! I'm so happy that we did. I got to see little bean moving it's arms and legs around. I don't know why but I guess for some reason, maybe because of the drama that we went through when finding out, it hasn't seemed real. But after today...it totally is! It was still a tiny little blob but it was MOVING!!! OMG!!! You would think that since this isn't my first rodeo I wouldn't be nearly as freaked out....but I AM! Like I said, maybe it's because of all the drama in the beginning. So...I asked the doctor if my abnormally large, pregnant looking belly was normal for only 9 weeks gestation. He said, "I actually expected you to be bigger by now." My response was, "OH SHIT! Are you serious?" He laughed and assured me that it was completely normal. That I wasn't a freak of nature, or imagining things, or sticking my gut out on purpose. That things would be happening "at a much more accelerated pace this time around" and to not worry about it. SOO, DH is (hopefully) cleaning off the pics on the camera so we can take a pic of my 9 week belly so I can upload it.....I'm telling you...it's embarrassing!
**Okay, so DH hasn't done it yet but hopefully I will get the pic made and uploaded before bedtime.

***Okay, so here are the pics of me at 9 weeks. Seriously....going to be the side of a barn this time around....No laughing please!!!

This Needs a Catchy Title

Today is my follow up appointment to see if I can be taken off pelvic restrictions. Honestly I have been trying to take it easy but it is hard when you have a needy toddler, split-level home in which the laundry room is on the bottom, and job that requires you to walk throughout the hospital several times a day. I haven't spotted anymore since that first weekend/week so for that I am thankful! My morning/ALL DAY sickness has really kicked into high gear. There is no rhyme or reason as to when I will be sick. DH has been wonderful about cooking some of the food that makes me gag and cleaning up poopy accidents. (I literally just gagged after typing that!) There are several other symptoms that are starting to rear their ugly heads that I won't go into detail about...but you mommies know what I am talking about!

I don't really have much else going on right now. We have started moving Princess' playroom downstairs to free up the other room for the new baby. Actually I have a plan for the rooms (OF COURSE). For those of you that are familiar with how my kids' rooms are painted: If we have a girl, Princess will stay in her room and the baby will go in the former playroom. If we have a boy, Princess will go in the former playroom and the baby will go in Princess's former room. For those of you that aren't familiar with my house: Princess's current room is painted a sagey green and the accent wall has vertical stripes of green and a lighter shade. It has a vaulted ceiling (which I love) and a ledge near the ceiling. The Playroom is painted a light lavender color. The accent wall is my masterpiece! It is a checkerboard pattern over the entire wall, 12" squares in pink, yellow, green, and purple. With whatever gender we have, I've decided to not paint either room. Hence, moving Princess if we have a boy. She is actually getting BIG GIRL furniture for her birthday which is in May. She and I have picked out the cutest bedding from Pottery Barn Kids (yes, she actually did pick it out herself!) We REALLY do not need anymore toys in our house at this point so I am hoping that birthday guests will check out the bedding pieces as a possibility for a gift instead! I have registered for her bedding at PBKids under my name if anyone wants to snoop! Here is a picture I swiped from PBKids website of the room.....Cute Huh?



Okay, I promise to post an update this evening when I get home from the doctor's office. I am hoping that I get the chance to see little bean again today. It should look more like a baby this week so I can't wait! Until then.....

8 Week Belly Update

Sooooo, we are 8 weeks this week. And I'm thinking I am huge. Now I know that this belly isn't the baby...it's only a kidney bean this week per Babycenter.com. I know it is mainly bowel distention, bloating, and general swelling....BUT COME ON!!! I swear I look like I am 5 months..no, make that 6. I feel like it to. I have this huge belly sticking out which I am well aware of the fact that it is fat too....but seriously? I know that the second time around you "pop" sooner and with having a c-section I would definitely start showing sooner.....but people....I can't even wear ONE PAIR OF REGULAR PANTS anymore!!!!! (have you heard enough whining?)

We went to the doctor last week for our "first new OB" appt. When I went to give my urine sample (just a head's up to possible new readers....my posts will be graphic from now on...you have been warned) there was blood on my undies and the paper. It was the darker kind but I still freaked...who wouldn't? At least I was in the right place right? Anyway, they took us back for an ultrasound. Little bean looked great, little but great. We saw/heard the simulated heartbeat on the screen. DH squeezed my hand when we saw it. Of course, that made me all teary eyed in addition to stressing about the blood. The doctor checked my cervix and everything was closed up and looked great. But he did put me on "pelvic bedrest"...yep, you know what that means. No Mmmm, Hmmmm, No exercise, and no unnecessary walking. I have to go back next Thursday to be checked again. So far we are doing better. I've stopped spotting (did it all weekend though) and now just have a few pains that are troubling me. There is an extremely sharp pain in my lower right belly area. I'm sure it is just round ligament pain and all that jazz but if it still this sharp tomorrow I will call the doc. That's all I got for now. I am attempting to upload the bean pic and will check with DH about me accessing our family pics on my laptop so I can add some more..promises, promises, right???

Part 4-A Baby Story

I thought it might be a good idea to finish this story up as another one is starting soon!

May 31st 5:00 PM
As I was being moved from my room to head down to the OR for a C-Section, my family was packing up all of our belongings. Literally things were being thrown into bags and grabbed out of drawers. My wonderful husband had unpacked our bags the night before and had everything in its place which really helped me to relax a little. Now everything was being crammed back into the suitcase, jerked from the bathroom counters, and tossed everywhere. I couldn't understand what was going on. Why were they making us take all of our stuff out of the room when I would be right back with my new baby? What I didn't know was that I was being moved from the nice LDRPN rooms into a surgical recovery room, one of the older rooms. Awwh, how nice of our hospital. Anyway, I don't remember the ride to the OR. I remember shaking violently though. It was referred to as the epidural shake by the RNs. I remember them telling my family that it would only take 30 minutes for the c-section to take place and I would be wheeled back to my new room. My family left to go down to the waiting area with all of my bags and accessories.
As I was wheeled into the OR, I remember a man with a deep voice standing at the head of my bed. I never saw his face but I believe he was an anethesiologist because he would "up" my meds if I showed any sort of grimace on my face. They wrapped very warm blankets around my head. The laid both of my arms out straight to my sides. They didn't strap them down though. I had a BP cuff on one and then they covered my arms and shoulders with these warm towels as well. That felt so wonderful and really helped with the epidural shake.
DH finally came in and sat near my head-camera in hand. I don't remember much about them making the incision or anything else because I was still very drugged. The main thing I remember is my doctor saying, "She's out but she's asleep so they are going to go wake her up." Little did I know this was code for, she's dead. I remember thinking right then, "yeah, I haven't felt her move much....." For what seemed like HOURS there was nothing but silence. No one was "working" on me, DH wasn't saying anything, and I couldn't hear the nurses from the end of my bed working on my baby. A nurse that pushed my bed to the OR came and looked directly in my face to get my attention like she had something to say...but she just looked, she never said anything. Then she walked off. Then DH started rubbing my forehead with his hand. I didn't understand what the hell was going on. I was able to turn my head and look into his eyes. They were teary and very sad looking. Now my DH doesn't cry....so it finally hit me....I couldn't hear my baby crying. She wasn't breathing. After what seemed like another hour of my DH rubbing my forehead we heard a tiny little cry. The entire room sighed with relief. Literally. After a few more minutes, a male doctor who I would later learn saved my daughter's life, brought her to me. He said, "Here Mom. Give her her first kiss. She had a little trouble breathing so we are going to take to her to the NICU to monitor her for a little while." At this point she was SCREAMING in my face. She was perfect. DH looked at me a little panicked as they put my baby in the isolette to take her away. I calmly said to him, "go with her." As I was stitched back up and my epidural taken out I was drifting farther and farther into neverland. I remember being wheeled down the hallway back to the old ugly rooms. I saw my family jump up from the waiting area and run to meet me. My Dad grabbed my hand and with his eyes asked me if everything was okay. I simply smiled and said yes. They all piled into the room after I was settled and wanted to know about the baby. I was really drugged at this point and pretty uncomfortable as well. I begin relaying the story as the nurse that moved me into the room told me. That the nurses were unable to revive my baby after she was born. She was solid blue when she came out of my belly. They had to call a code blue on my precious little baby. The neonatologist didn't even have time to get on scrubs-he just rushed in and began chest compressions and thank the GOOD LORD he saved her life. Everyone was crying by then, especially my sweet sister who was so worried. The nurse came in then and mentioned that it was visiting hours in the NICU and that the grandparents were allowed in. They all rushed out to get a glimpse of my sweet baby and to take some pictures and video for me. My sister and I sat there and cried together. The next thing I remember is everyone coming back into the room and my DH was finishing off some Micky D's french fries to which I was very jealous of...I was starving! He brought me tons of pictures of my baby who was screaming and slowly turning pink all over. Her hands and feet were still really blue in the first few pics but that changed quickly. She was so beautiful with that bottom lip stuck out.
More to come and I might even upload some of the first pictures.......

Much Needed Information

This tacky little survey is going around on facebook. I'm sure many of you have gotten it as well. I really didn't plan on doing it but finally bit the bullet. I thought I might as well post it here as well as this is my blog! Here it is!

25 Things About Me

1. I WAS NOT going to do this but more and more “things” have popped into my mind so I thought, what the heck?
2. I love my daughter more than life itself. She is my heart walking around outside of my body.
3. I can’t wait to be a mommy of two children. It will be crazy busy but wonderful!
4. My husband is my absolute best friend in the whole world. I love him to pieces!
5. I hate surprises. Literally hate them. All types for all reasons. Don’t surprise me. I will hate it.
6. I hate the fact that some people don’t respect the fact that I hate surprises. I try my best to respect their wishes….do the same for me.
7. I am very OCD about certain things and certain things I don’t give a crap about.
8. I am not a fake person. If I don’t like you, you will know it from my facial expression. I would never say it to you though.
9. I love to drive fast (not with the baby in the car though.)
10. Old and slow drivers REALLY irritate me….get the hell out of the fast lane.
11. Old people in general irritate me. And yes, I know I will be old someday.
12. I love the color red. I am trying to decide which room(s) in my house I want to paint red.
13. I love the beach. Who doesn’t?
14. I’ve just started taking yoga which I’ve always wanted to do. It is awesome!
15. I have always wanted two little dark curly-haired girls…maybe it will come true?
16. I am a huge breastfeeding advocate. Breast is the best!
17. I love sitting in my backyard with my husband in the summer time after work with a cold drink.
18. I hate the word Towelettes (as in facial Towelettes).
19. I love chocolate, especially Godiva Dark Chocolate Mandarin Orange Truffles…which they stopped making.
20. I love flowers, especially lilies and roses. My husband can’t understand this because “they just die.” But he is coming around.
21. I love the fact that my daughter is starting to look and act like me. (the good parts anyway!)
22. I love bargain/coupon shopping. It really is fun.
23. I hate people that give me a dirty look when I don’t return the buggy to the “corral.” I’m sorry, but I am not leaving my baby in the car. Don’t you watch Dateline? Move it your damn self.
24. I am craving salty foods this week…bring on the Pringles!
25. I didn’t ask for anyone’s response or negative comments about MY LIST. Make your own list if you must, but don’t irritate me with rude comments.

Post yours if you feel up to it. It is kinda liberating to tell you the truth!

Maybe You Need to Buy Some First Response!

Well I promised when I felt up to it to give you the details about how we found out about our little Pea (update from Babycenter says it is the size of a Pea!). I went home from work on Monday 19th and took a test because I was a few days late. And to my surprise it was POSITIVE. I went downstairs and saw that DH and Princess were playing a Tinkerbell game on the computer. I was very nervous and anxious about telling him as I knew he was going to be as shocked as I was. So as I sat there trying to come up with the words to say...Princess and DH gave me a perfect entrance. Princess, "Daddy, who's dis for? Dis game for me?" DH, "(sarcastic), No Princess. It's for our other daughter." Mommy, "speaking of..." Not exactly the way I wanted to tell him but hey, it worked.
The next morning I took another test, Positive. I called the doctor that day and they were having me come in on Wednesday to test and speak with the doctor. I knew it was a little early but I needed to talk to the doc immediately about medicines I was taking that I needed to stop taking right then. I went in and told her nurse (who I just saw the week prior for my yearly) that I thought I might be pregnant. She was excited and had me change into the gown for a pelvic exam. During that wonderful experience the doctor kept saying things like, "I can't find any evidence of an enlarged uterus, etc." As I came out of the room, the nurse (with a shocked look on her face) came out of lab and said, "you said you got positives at home right? Your test is negative." My heart dropped, my face flushed, my pulse was racing, and I couldn't breathe. How, in twenty four hours, could I have fallen in love with this little ball of cells? I took my two positive tests I had brought with me to the lab technician and they agreed that they were pretty positive....three separate technicians ran the test three times....negative.
As I sat down in the doctor's office he was "very confident that (you) are not pregnant. (Our) tests are very accurate, even in early pregnancy at detecting blah blah blah." I knew it was early, I was there to discuss the medications. He wanted me to continue to take the meds because he was so confident that I wasn't pregnant. He was awful to me. He said, "whatever made you think you were pregnant?" I pulled my little tests out of my purse and said, "well these." He went on and on about how OTC tests were not always accurate blah blah again. Anyway, I went back to the lab to have some blood drawn where the technicians were wonderful and trying to excuse the negative results away. One particularly nice tech looked dead at me as I was sitting there and asked me if I was okay. I simply said, "no." After that I left their office. I drove home alone and cried all the way home. DH called me to ask how it went and I told him the short version. He left work early to come home and be with me. On my way home, I stopped by CVS and bought another three pack of FR tests and a bag of chocolates. Took another test when I got home-positive. It was a horrible evening. I literally cried all evening. I called/texted a few close friends with a quick update. By dinnertime I was convinced that I wasn't pregnant or if I were it was only a chemical one and it would pass soon. After I got Princess to bed I started to play on the internet and research what would cause false positives. I found a little info about the meds I was taking but I also learned that doctor's office tests are usually not as accurate as First Response or EPT when detecting earlier on. I went to bed so confused and anxious for the phone call I should receive the next morning with the blood test results.
The next morning I sat at work jumping every time my phone would ring. The sweet nurse finally called me and with a skittish voice said,"we got your blood test results back...they are postive, you are pregnant!" I was in shock once again. I didn't know how to feel, act, do, or say. It was indeed a rollercoaster of a week. I called my DH, friends and family and told them the update. That there was a Baby D on their way!
I go back next week for another ultrasound and lots of other testing in which I hope to see the mean doctor again. I really want to tell him that "maybe you need to buy some first response!!!" Luckily he doesn't deliver babies anymore so I don't have to see him anymore! :)

5 Weeks, 3 Days

So I went today for another OB Appt only to find out that we are only 5 weeks and 3 days along. So, not far enough along to see a heartbeat yet but that sweet little baby sac was there. (sorry, they didn't take any pics for me to bring home with me) They have me scheduled for another appointment in two weeks so maybe we can get some action out of poppy seed then. My EDD according to the ultrasound is September 28th, but my EDD from my LMP is October 1st.
I am definitely started to feel the symptoms (tune out if you get grossed out). First of all, I am COMPLETELY exhausted. With having Princess around I'm not able to take those long wonderful naps like I did the first time around. I feel like a walking zombie day and night and it doesn't help that I haven't been able to sleep well at night either. I cannot stay out of the bathroom....I am so tired of tee teeing! I am trying to keep up with my water intake but man...I should just set up a laptop in there at work to save me the time! I am having lower back and belly pain sporadically, not like period cramps, but more like sore/pulled muscles. My boobs are starting to feel heavy, tingley, and itchey. Oh yeah, and the best one of all....NAUSEA....it is not horrible yet but I have started to have my aversions to different smells/foods. They past two days have really gotten worse in that area. Oh well, enough complaining-just wanted to give everyone an update on poppy seed...that will be the nickname until the next update from Babycenter tell me what size it is now...!

Unexpected...

DH and I have an announcement to make....it is early, but I just can't keep my mouth shut.....
WE ARE PREGNANT!!!!! Blood test confirmed it today. I go back in two weeks for the ultrasound and stuff so I will report back on all the details. This is unexpected but not unwanted. Never unwanted. When I feel up to it, I will post the details about finding out...what a rollercoaster ride. Anyway, just wanted to let you guys know our exciting news!!!!

Downward Facing Dog Pose

I loved going to YOGA! I am still hurting in places that I didn't even know existed but I can't wait to go back for the next class. I was very "stretchy" the first night and felt great but I knew I was going to be sore for a few days. It hurts so good though.
I was able to locate the place after getting a little lost in the pouring rain. It was wonderful-the mats were set up so that you could look out the windows to the treetops. Of course the rain was non-stop and was so relaxing to look at while stretching. It almost looked fake. The room was dim and I was able to relieve myself of a migraine by the end of the evening. I have honestly never felt more relaxed than I did when I left there (well, maybe on the beach in Jamaica-but who can do that on a regular basis?) I can't wait to start taking the Fundamentals class I have signed up for. My friend, Photobug, will be taking the class as well. We are really focusing on having more mommy time this year. Yoga is a way for us to spend time together, relax/calm our nerves, and rejuvenate so we enjoy the time we have with our chillins'. This is something I have always wanted to do and I am so thankful that I finally got a swift kick in the rear to prompt me to finally do it!

Part Three-A Baby Story

Still working on Princess' birth story....
Wednesday, May 31st 2006
I was awakened several times during the night because of the faulty blood pressure cuff which was cutting off my circulation in my left arm (literally.) Needless to say when Wednesday morning arrived my migraine was still hanging around. I was hooked up to some pitocin to help labor progress now that I was all ripe. DH was right there beside me the whole time as the contractions grew stronger. They weren't showing up on the monitors as "strong" contractions so no one was really believing me when I told them the amount of pain I was in. I just breathed (tried not to panic) through each contraction and held DH's hand for support. My parents, sister, and nephew came that morning in full force. Everyone was great and very supportive of my decisions. While my family was there, DH decided to take a shower to prepare for the day's events. I was not supposed to eat or drink anything....and we know what happens when I don't get my coke in the morning. DH was dead set against getting me one so I sweet talked my daddy into sneaking me one while DH was in the shower. BIG MISTAKE. I threw up the rest of the morning. It was awful. My doctor came in several hours later only to tell me that I had only progressed to 1 centimeter (didn't I say we needed to go home?) Anyway, she decided to break my water in the hopes of speeding things up. It took FOREVER to break my water. How hard could this be? DH said it looked like a coat hanger was the instrument of choice. TMI: Apparently I have a "dip" in my pelvic bone which you have to go under to reach the water bag. I felt it when she pricked it....it was a tiny, tiny little trickle. It was awful to have your waters slowly leaking out. It was embarrassing (still at this point) to have your bed linens changed every few minutes. It was at this point that my doctor could see my discomfort and she and an RN were reviewing my printouts to see how "large" the contractions were. I had the monitors on the outside of my belly and they were hardly registering any contractions. She decided then that I should have an internal monitor put in. (Fun.) They were ALL taken aback when the saw the size of my contractions. They were HUGE. (Well duh, I've been trying to tell you.) She went ahead and ordered my epidural. Stat.
My wonderful epidural was threaded up the left side of my spine. I'm sure the RN that was holding me wanted to slap my face as I was literally pinching her sides when he stuck me. I ripped the fault BP cuff off and she started panicing, "You can't take that off-we need to monitor your BP while doing the epidural." I said to her (in a VERY angry voice), "Well you need to find a damn one that WORKS!" I looked up at my DH and Sister and said, "I bet my hair is sexy right now." They just died laughing and said that was exactly what they were thinking. Being that my epidural was threaded a little to the left, after a couple of hours of blissful laboring I started to have a "feeling" on my right side. At the time I didn't realize that I wasn't numb on the right anymore, that I could actually move my right leg. I just knew that something didn't feel right. My doctor was in to check on me and was sitting on the side of the bed. She was looking at the monitors and looking at my face. She said as I was grimacing, "you felt that?" I simply nodded my head and she called for the anesthesiologist. He had to come in several times to "up" my meds for my epidural. I was resting and finding myself drifting off to sleep. I could still hear everyone around me as I started to slowly drift off. It was a wonderful, peaceful feeling. As soon as I felt this calm, I heard alarms and my family shouting my name and to "wake up!" Soon after that an RN rushed into and began checking over my printouts and monitors. I was VERY irritated as I was finally getting some much needed sleep. They flipped me on my left side and slapped an oxygen mask on me. Several hours later and I had only progressed to a little over 2 centimeters...after 12 hours of labor. So she decided that it would be best if we did a c-section. I agreed as I had always entertained this as an option.

Love Is...

1. Overhearing your DH sing, "I love you, you love me..." (Barney Song) to your Princess while he thinks no one else can hear him.
2. Having your DH send you to get a pedicure when you are having a particularly rough day.
3. Your baby girl wrapping her arms around your legs for a brief second before she runs off to play.
4. Seeing your parent's faces when they get a surprise visit from Princess.
5. They way you and your DH glance across the table at one another while everyone is eating.
6. Making big changes in yourself (for the better) in the hopes that everything will be picture perfect as planned.

I am starting yoga today and I am VERY excited about it. This is something I have always wanted to do and just never did. I bought a new mat, bag, and other accessories to use tonight. I am hoping this will be as fun/relaxing as I imagine it being. I will try and be good and report in this week on how it was. Hope everyone had a wonderful holiday!!! Now back to the grind!