The Transformation

I was talking to my friend, Photobug, while looking at baby boy bedding online. I was still in the mourning phase of not having two little girls and was not having any luck picking out any bedding. Then lightening struck-I saw the inspiration bedding.

Now I had originally promised DH that I wouldn’t want or need to paint the nursery (the Green Room) because, well it was green and that could be used for either gender. That was until I saw this bedding. Well not exactly this bedding. There were elements about it that I didn’t like of course. Photobug mentioned that her Mom could possibly MAKE the bedding for me. She is actually in the process of doing that now and I can’t wait to see the finished product. She made Photobug’s bedding for her little boy and actually already had the pattern and everything. I was so thrilled when she agreed to take on this project. Next, I had to convince DH that we needed to paint the nursery. The light mint/sage green was definitely out of the question with the new color scheme already planted firmly in my mind. I showed him the bedding I found online and he really liked it as well but had the exact same reservations as I did. So after a little persuasion, coercion, and whining I was given the semi-I know you are going to do it anyway-go ahead to paint the nursery.
The first step, before I could paint anything, was to find the fabric for the bedding. I was so stressed out about this. Was I picking the right fabric, was I picking the right colors, was it close enough to the bedding originally picked out, yada yada yada. Now most of the time I just “take charge” of any project I am working on but not this one for some reason. Finally after putting it off forever and whining to DH, I said to myself…I am going to TAKE CHARGE of my project. Princess and I went out in search of our fabric the next morning. Much to my surprise we actually find it right off. I called it my “ah-ha” fabric. It is chocolate, red, and cream striped. Then we visited another store and found a khaki backing and chocolate linen fabric to go with it. After a few more days of searching we found a red accent and a cream fabric that is super soft. The quilt and bumper will be a patchwork of all these different fabrics and colors. Now, I was ready to pick out the paint. It was simple enough. I decided to keep the vertical stripes on the main wall instead of sanding them down. I went with a light khaki for the walls and one stripe and picked one shade darker for the other stripe. DH was great in painting the vaulted ceiling area and ledge area that I couldn’t (and wouldn’t!!) reach. We completed the touch ups this weekend and DH put the crib back together. Now the organization and decoration begins!!! Here are a few before and after pics that I have so far. I am in the process of painting the white shelves you see in a few pics to a dark chocolate brown and I am also painting his name letters a shade of red to hang above the crib. Also I purchased two 8x10 canvases for Princess to paint for her baby brother (she really wanted to help paint and I wasn’t about to let her loose on the walls!) There are a few more items I have in mind to purchase to complete the room and I can’t wait! I’ll be sure to post again-I’m really trying to keep up now!

Boy v. Girl

Here is something I wrote the day after I found out we were having a little boy.

Yesterday we went to find out the gender of our second child. And MUCH to my surprise…it’s a boy. I know most people would be thrilled with this fact, even thrilled to be having a child at all. I KNOW THAT. And I feel horrible for feeling this way—but I never wanted a boy. I never saw myself with a boy. I never saw my DH raising a boy. I never saw my DD with a brother…..I just never believed it would happen. It’s like 40% of me is thrilled and jumping up and down with joy at the thought of having a son-a mommy’s boy…..and the other 60% is devastated….devastated for what I feel I have lost. I, logically, know that it is just one dream replacing another dream…but I still am grieving that loss. I will never have “my girls”, never have my little princesses, DD will never have a sister to gossip with, dress up with, and have in each other’s weddings. She will never be able to have that sort of bond with a boy and for that I am sad. It’s hard to let go of the dreams you have for yourself and your family. It’s hard to deal with the fact that you ARE NOT in charge of everything. I’m not sure what the plan is for me or for this sweet little boy in my belly—but there definitely has to be one.
On the upside, I’m hoping that in the next few days as reality sinks in and I start to realize what I DO have to look forward too-I will start to feel better and more grateful….just not today. Today I am still grieving my “loss.”

I have been debating on whether to share that piece of myself with all of you. The people closest to me already knew this but those that aren’t will probably not understand a lot of my posts so I felt it was necessary to get this out there. Since that day, every time I look at those words I feel ashamed, embarrassed, and saddened. But that is how I felt AT THE TIME. My sister explained my feelings for me best: “When you first find out, you feel like you have been kicked in the stomach. Then you are really sad. Then you get over it and get excited. Then you are really embarrassed and feel stupid for ever feeling that way.” She was right. Absolutely right.
To be honest and fair though, I am still very sad about all the above things but I have moved on and I do realize what I have to look forward to. And what my DH and Princess are gaining as well. My DH especially. He and Princess have a wonderful relationship and I love watching them together, especially when he is dancing with her around the room in her princess costume calling him her Prince. But I can’t WAIT to see the relationship he will have with his son. It’s something I can’t even begin to imagine/begin to picture will be like. I can’t wait to watch this story unfold. We are all looking forward to our little boy’s arrival!!

A Royal Celebration

My darling little Princess turned three years old a month or so ago. I can’t believe this time three years ago she was a tiny newborn. (I can’t even write this post without crying.) She and I talked about what type of party she would like this year (the past two years have been outside/water parties) and of course she said “a Princess Party!” We had little sandwiches, fruit, desserts, and Pink Cupcakes with Purple Sprinkles! Everything was made by yours truly with the exception of the fruit (cut up by a local chicken fast food place) and the adorable Chocolate Buttons made by Photobug. Oh and the cream cheese mints made by her Nana (my request…I love cream cheese mints when I am pregnant apparently!) We had several little tables in the living room for the kidlets to eat their party food. Princess received so many wonderful presents and we were so thankful for everyone that was able to make it! My parents got her a Barbie Jeep for her birthday which she still hasn’t really gotten the hang of “driving.” She would rather sit in it playing with the radio and mirrors than drive it anywhere. Her God Parents got her a beautiful jewelry box (along with several other things) which she plays with all the time Photobug and Betrothed got pieces of her bedding for her new big girl bed and new room. My sister and nephews got Princess a Cinderella costume and all the extras (shoes, purse, etc). She received lots of other fun toys, outfits, and games that we have been putting to good use since then!
Hopefully a good time was had by all and my baby girl will remember her Princess Birthday Party for a long time to come (or at least have the pictures!!!)

WOW WOW WOW

Has it really been this long since I've posted, you ask? Why yes, yes it has.
I'm having a baby boy-MUCH to our surprise. It was hard to accept at first-most of you won't understand that-I'll try to explain later. But now we are all very excited about our little baby boy. I am going to be 27 weeks tomorrow and can't believe that the third trimester begins next week....but I still feel like I have forever to go....ALL.SUMMER.LONG. Hooray for swimming pools! Anyway, Princess has turned three years old and we had a Princess Birthday party for her...it was a ton of fun and really cute. I can't believe that this time three years ago my baby was only a month old....OMG, it has flown by! I am very excited about little man's arrival but want to hold on to this as long as possible as this will probably be our last baby...definitely! I can't wait for Christmas this year...it will be so fun with the two of them...I'm rambling and this post is jumping but I don't care...at least I am posting right? Okay, so what to write about that is semi-cohesive in nature? Hmm, sounds like I need to make a list....
1. Transformation of Girl Nursery to Boy Nursery
2. Details of Princess's Party
3. Add some belly pics-update on stats (not weight of course!)

That's what I have for now. Will try to be a good girl and post on these topics in detail but I want to rest for a bit while Princess and her Prince (that is what she calls her daddy now--SOO SWEET!) are downstairs playing....Later!

It's a Party in There

So I know this will sound crazy to some of you first time moms.....but you second time moms-tell me your experiences with this.............
At about 11 weeks I was having little "pops" is what we will call them. I didn't think much of it--gas, bloating, etc--everything is changing and weird at this point and I was throwing up pretty regularly too. Around the end of the 11th week, I noticed this same "pop" feeling about once or twice a day. It was distinctive...the best way I can describe it was like a cotton ball was floating around and would "pop" me every now and again. Very soft, very faint, and very brief...so brief I thought I was imagining it. Anyway, after noticing this repeated pop I started looking/waiting for it....it happened more and more frequently. I was thinking to myself...."No, way. I'm only 12ish weeks.....!" I was so unsure I didn't share this with ANYONE, not even DH. After a few more times and one very definitive pop I posted on my favorite message board at BBC to ask other mom's opinions and experiences. I had lots of women respond that the second time they were pregnant they felt "something" really early...as early as I was feeling it. I was still not convinced so I still didn't share with anyone but Photobug (as she is on that board as well.) During this time I signed up for a program with our insurance company that gives me free access to a nurse. I mentioned this whole scenario to her and she said it was definitely the little bean I was feeling!!! That was cool....and of course I watched for it even more. During the 13th week (this past week) I could definitely feel it for sure. I told DH and he was skeptical but believed it could be possible. I felt it more when I was sitting straight up in my desk chair at work when I had on pants with an under belly elastic band. (the larger, harder bands) It is the strangest feeling to describe. Almost like a brief wiggle, but not necessarily a wiggle in the since that you would first think of...ANYWAY.....I mentioned that I went to the doctor on Thursday. I told him of my "pops" and he said he wasn't going to tell that it wasn't....because he just wasn't sure. He did say that it was awful early, but it was possible. While he had the doppler on my belly, I could feel a little wiggling going on. There was one time where little bean actually popped the doppler so much that it made a loud noise that was picked up.....my doctor said, "it just moved...did you feel that?" I said, "uhhh, yeah. That was one of my little pops!" He was surprised but seemed happy that I could already feel it moving around. He said that it was great that I was so in touch with my body (yeah right) that I knew exactly what was going on in there. It was nice to hear that from the doc, especially just after getting in trouble for eating Corn Pops all the time!!! I don't know if I mentioned it or not before but the heart rate stayed around 165.....so maybe girl??

Yeah for the Weekend!

I seriously have not had such a wonderful weekend in a LONG time! First we went to Lawyer Dad's surprise birthday party on Friday night. (Thanks JESS for the invite!) It was a blast. He was definitely surprised and we got the chance to meet a lot of great people. Best of all our BFFs, K&T were there too. We loved catching up with them, of course, and couldn't wait until Saturday when we could see their little man, I-dorable! My MIL kept Princess Friday night and they had a great time together. They went to eat at Taco Bell (Princess's Choice..) and went to a few stores to look around and shop. Princess always comes home with some loot when the grandparent(s) are with her!! On Saturday we slept extremely late for us which was a nice change. Then we got ready and met K&T and I-dorable at a BBQ place. Then they came back to the house so I could get some baby lovin'!!!! He is so stinking adorable. I seriously could have just kept him (but I think his mommy would have objected)! Princess was all about him too, she just wanted to get him (in a good way). She was even "good" when I or DH was holding him. That surprised me, but it is good news I guess. I can't believe we haven't seen this little guy since Christmas time!!! Definitely won't wait that long again!
With all of our fun times, there also has to come my complaining (I would just get used to this part of my posts...instead of journaling everything about this pregnancy, I write it here....and there is a LOT of complaining.....) I've started taking the iron of course which I have been warned has "uncomfortable" side effects...yeah. I've also had a headache on the verge of a migraine since Thursday. Since the only thing I can really take it Tylenol--and really, what is the point in taking that--I've been pretty uncomfortable. I'm sure the weather we are having is contributing somewhat (I always get headaches when we have bad weather--barometric pressure or something). Anyway, back to the fun stuff.....if you can believe this...I GOT A FEW PICTURES TO SHARE.....after I get permission from K&T I will post a pic of I-dorable and Princess together. They were so cute together and he really does make me "consider" having a boy (like I have a choice in it :) ).

13 Week Update with no Pics Yet

Sooo, I warned you ahead of time. No pics yet. We had our 13 week appt (normally would have gone at 12 weeks but I was just there at 9 weeks) today and we got to hear little bean's heartbeat!! DH was able to go with me so that was great too! Another post will detail "movement." I know you are on the edge of your seats....(sarcasm)
I have been sick, coughing, snotting, etc for about a month. I have been doing all the "routine" things-vaporizer, extra fluids, mucinex, etc etc...NOTHING has helped and then pollen hit too. I have been so exhausted that I can hardly stay awake at work-literally. That coupled with the almost constant nausea and vomiting-well you can say that I haven't been a happy camper lately. The nurse took one look at me and said, "you feeling puney?" Then she sent me to have my iron checked...sure enough...anemic. Not a huge deal and it really does explain a lot. So in addition to my prenatal vitamin and calcium supplement, I am now taking an iron supplement, Z-Pack, and robitussion with codeine (haven't tried this one yet....we shall see if it works!) Oh and Nexium. I feel like a drug addict! DH ratted me out with the doctor. Because of my nausea I really don't feel like eating much of anything--and the things I do want/can keep down I eat A LOT of...for example Corn Pops and cold whole milk (With Abbie it was Capt.Crunch!) Well after my anemia was announced DH (under his breath) said something about "eating just Pops probably doesn't help either." Of course the Doc heard and made a NOTE! I'm not too angry-mainly embarrassed...but hey, if it's the only thing I can consistently keep down....What's the problem?
Okay, I am off work tomorrow so I will try and catch a few things up....here are some topics to remind me
1) Movement??
2) Bad Mommy
3) Upcoming Events

Later!!!